Today someone at work sent me a link for a digital journal they wanted me to read. I clicked through, and after it loaded, I clicked on the first page. Suddenly, I head a distinct "swoop" sound as the page turned. Unsure what had just happened, I clicked again. Sure enough, as the digital page turned across my screen, the journal app produced a sound effect intended to mimic the sound of a physical page turning. I checked the settings, and lo and behold, there was a box labeled "flip sound," which was of course checked by default.

This is the single stupidest feature I have encountered in years. Don't get me wrong—I'm a writer and avid reader, and I have nothing against e-books. I've read more e-books in the last few years than physical books by far. But never once have I thought to myself, Gee, I really miss that sound when the page turns.

Whoever came up with idea, and worse, thought anyone actually wanted it, needs to be hosed down with napalm. That, or auditioned for LiLo's dick list.