Those of you who are parents will get this, the rest please think pre-post.

Today, I was emptying the dishwasher as I do every morning. Our routine before school is always that I walk the dog, make lunches, then straighten up the kitchen before everyone else gets down. But today, because it's St. Patrick's Day and Mrs. iElvis likes to make a big deal about minor holidays for the kids' sake, everyone was up and looking around at the green glitter and gold coins on the floor rather than leaving me room to work.

In the middle of this, I pulled out two baking sheets from the dishwasher, and turned around to put them on the island behind me in preparation for returning them to the oven—and CLANG—nailed my nine-year-old son edge-on, right in the forehead as he darted behind me. I couldn't have hit him any more squarely if I'd been aiming at him, and it dropped him like he'd been tased.

After 15 minutes of tears and chaos, he still didn't want to go to school, but when I started trying to talk him into going at my wife's request, I began to think it might not be a good idea because he was still complaining about being dizzy. So we kept him home and she took him off to the doctor. Said doctor confirmed what I was afraid of, which was a mild concussion. He's now under orders to rest and avoid physical activity, which if you're familiar with nine-year-old boys, may be a challenge.


There are few things worse than accidentally hurting your kids. Suffice to say I feel horrible right now.